LILY Letter 21: The Art of Pairing Up

August 31, 2021

Intentional Courtship: A Mid-Singles Guide to Peace, Progress and Pairing Up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is divided up into 3 sections. “Part Three: Pairing Up—Getting Serious” includes the last six chapters, which explore the complexities and intricacies of dating after your twenties and how to be very intentional about finding the very best companion for you.

When God created the heavens and earth, He evaluated each step of that process and declared that “it was good” (Genesis 1: 10, 12, 8, 21, 25, 31). In contrast, with his crowning creation of humans, he declared that, “It is NOT good that man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18, emphasis added). Thus, God ordained marriage so Adam and Eve and all of their descendants would not be alone.

Paradoxically, today, many humans find themselves feeling very lonely in this world, both in and out of marriage. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were naked and not ashamed. This is an important metaphor for our lives—being naked means to be vulnerable and fully exposed. That vulnerability is not just physical in marriage, but also emotional and spiritual. In order to have a true companionship where you are not alone, you need to be able to trust your partner and be vulnerable with him or her so that you both feel understood and valued for who you really are and not a mask you wear—so there is no shame between you.

The value of being single in your middle years is that you can evaluate very deliberately what you want in a partnership and genuinely create in yourself the kind of person you want to attract. And if you are already married, it is never too late to create more love and connection in your life. One of the main reasons for our book "Intentional Courtship" (coming soon, fall of 2021) is to help God reach His objective—that his children not be alone.

LILY Pod Episode 29: A Mid-Singles Guide to Pairing Up

In “A Mid-Singles Guide to Pairing Up,” we explore the art of pairing up as relationships deepen and become more serious, ultimately leading to a joyful eternal marriage.

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