Money is a vexing subject for many mid-singles. You might be a single mom forced into the workforce for the first time by a divorce or the loss of your husband to death. You might be a single dad who has suffered business losses or career setbacks–whether they contributed to the misery that caused the divorce or resulted from it. You might be a single man that has not yet been married and wonder if your lack of financial success has contributed to being unable to date the women you wish to. There could be thousands of variations on any of these scenarios. Men may fear that women will rule them out for their financial problems. Conversely, some women may be looking for a marriage to solve their financial problems. (This situation may be reversed in some situations.)
I have personally known the kind of business and career setbacks that pushed my first marriage over the edge–and contributed to the financial disaster that followed. My business started to really decline in the wake of the 2008 Great Recession.
For two years before my first wife and I separated, my income had gone way down. For the next four years following the separation I just had a hard time functioning. I had a hard time figuring my life out. I felt like God had given me the things I wanted, including a family, a good mind, a good career, and a nice house overlooking town and out to Puget Sound–and in a short time it was all taken from me.
So, I wondered, “what’s the point?” I had this recurring thought that, “I can slave for another 15 years just to get back to where I was, and then I can lose it all again.” So financial disaster led to a depletion of life energy, which led to further financial trouble. It was a perfect storm. After her divorce, Cathy found herself a single mother with a handful of violin students–not nearly enough to provide the income she needed. She knows what it’s like to scramble to feed herself too. So, if you are facing financial difficulties as a mid-single, please know that we feel your pain.
Here are a few suggestions if you are a mid-single facing financial hardships:
I know looking at these suggestions might feel overwhelming, and you may believe you lack the time and energy to implement it. Remember that a little progress every day adds up to a lot of progress over a year, five years, and ten years. I can’t offer you a miracle that will solve all your financial problems in one fell swoop. I can promise you that applying the principles above will help you get to a happier and more comfortable place sooner than you can imagine right now.
Also Published in Meridian Magazine October 3, 2022