Who wants to recreate and rebuild their lives? ✋ This Program was designed for you!

Along with many incredible Relationship Coaches, Mental Health Professionals, College Professors and Public Speakers, Love in Later Years will inspire and coach our team of Dating Olympians in our 5-week online masterclass and dating event. Packed full of coaching challenges, supportive interactions and a 2-week in person dating event, where Olympians will earn points for putting to practice what they learn in the course.

To promote this event, the Dating Olympics is offering a huge discount for the first 50 people who sign up. Spread the word!
Share it with your friends or someone you want to get to know. This will be the perfect opportunity for you to do that.

https://datingolympics.com

Here is our LILY Pod interview with owner & founder of the Dating Olympics:

Sheri Braithwaite and the Dating Olympics
15. Sheri Braithwaite and the Dating Olympics by LILY Pod • A podcast on Anchor
ANCHOR.FM
15. Sheri Braithwaite and the Dating Olympics by LILY Pod • A podcast on Anchor
Jeff & Cathy discuss Sheri Braithwaite's journey as a mid-single, recovery from divorce, and why someone who "hates" dating created the Dating Olympics.

Do you want to intentionally transform your life for the better? When it comes to the mind, everything beyond verifiable fact is perspective. The stories we tell have the power to influence our emotions, energy, behaviors, and ultimately our outcomes. We often choose our stories unconsciously and begin to believe our perspective as if it is fact and don’t even question it. Yet there is another option. We can choose our stories consciously to create intentional transformation. Our emotions, energy, behaviors, and outcomes can shift when we choose different stories. We are creators. It all begins with the thoughts we choose to focus on.

We have developed a LILY Coaching Model that we believe will be very helpful in our coaching practice. It provides a framework we as humans each need to do in order to create our best life. The acronym for our model is FSEEBO – so remember to “Forget SEEBO!” Forget the stories that don’t serve you, so you can forget the emotion/energy that doesn’t elevate you, and as a result you will forget each behavior/outcome that doesn’t benefit you! Doing this important thought work with firm intention, over time, will lead you to more purposefully create your life and find greater joy in your journey.

Here’s the breakdown:

Facts – verifiable (every thought beyond the facts is OPTIONAL)

Stories – our own perceptions and adaptations of the facts, the thoughts we choose to subscribe to and focus on

Emotions – the result of our stories, greatly influenced by our thoughts in the moment and in accumulation

Energy – the vibration we approach our day with and the world around us, also influenced by our thoughts/stories

Behaviors – naturally follow stories/emotions/energy, unless we use will-power to counteract it, which isn't sustainable

Outcomes – what our lives look like, as a result of our behaviors, which are influenced by our emotions/energy, and ultimately from our stories – the thoughts we attach to about the facts of our life experience.

Enjoy a more in depth discussion on LILY Pod Episode 11: Our F-SEEBO Model

Listen to "Our F-SEEBO Model" podcast on LILY Pod as many times as it takes to really get it down. Take notes and make a commitment to do this work in your own life. You can do a lot of this work yourself. Yet we all have blind spots so it is very helpful to meet with a coach and get personal assistance. We are happy to support you along the way! Let us know if you’d like a FREE coaching consultation by emailing us at loveinlateryears.com.

Jeff and Cathy each hold college degrees in the family science field. The principle of least interest is a prominent theory in this discipline. It simply means that the partner who is least invested in a relationship controls that relationship. This is so because the less interested partner is more willing to walk away rather than compromise or change.

We have seen many manifestations of this, such as a wife who is constantly clamoring for her husband's attention while he works long hours to avoid feeling smothered at home. It could be the husband who is pressing his wife for more couple time while she focuses on the kids and her friends, often to the exclusion of her husband.

In the realm of dating, one person may be very excited about another, while that other may still be dating a lot of other people. That dynamic creates a great deal of frustration for both of them. The one who is dating all of the other people controls the relationship because he or she is prepared to pursue other interests, while the other is willing to make the relationship a priority.

If you are the more interested dating partner, here are a few suggestions to help you deal with a relationship where you have no power:

  1. Date other people. If your partner does not commit to an exclusive relationship, neither should you. I have coached people who have protested, "But I don't want to date anybody else. I have found the person I want to be with." Don't invest more than your partner is willing to invest. This isn't a matter of playing games but of recognizing where your relationship really is. For commitments to be meaningful they need to be mutual. If you are constantly chasing someone who is chasing other people, you are likely wasting a lot of time and emotional energy, and smothering your partner in the process. Keep dating other people and give your partner a chance to catch up. Be open to meeting someone else.
  2. Develop other interests. Take a class. Restore an old car. Get together with friends and go to a movie. Do some scrapbooking – whatever you enjoy. Don't overload a relationship with constant demands that the other person "be there" to make you happy. Make yourself happy and accept what the other person is willing to give. Ultimately, if your partner does not get more invested, your relationship is not going to go anywhere and it shouldn't. Occasionally we have seen relationships where the more interested person gave an ultimatum and the less interested person gave into it under pressure. That leads to a marriage to a half-hearted partner. Does anyone want that?
  3. Don't get married where there is a huge emotional intimacy gap. If you are in a relationship where you find yourself always wanting more of your partner, this may not be the right relationship for you. You may have fundamentally different ideas about the appropriate amount of time together and the balance between relationship and outside interests. You might have great physical chemistry and the ability to connect in conversation. But if your partner is not invested in the relationship at roughly the same level as you, it is going to take a lot of adjustment for you to get comfortable in the relationship. You're probably going to do a lot of grieving. You have to decide whether that is something you are ready to do, or if there might be another person out there that is better suited to you.

Listen to our LILY Pod episode which outlines dating etiquette for mid-singles and for married couples. If in addition to these free materials you would like to consider one-on-one coaching for your own dating and relationships, email us at loveinlateryears.com to schedule a free consult.

Enjoy LILY Pod Episode 7: Dating Etiquette for Mid-Singles and Married Couples

This is my Zoom coaching space. I had a great session this morning with one of my awesome clients. It feels so good to connect with and assist mid-singles as they intentionally create the life they desire. It's rewarding and we are so thankful for every opportunity we have to make a positive difference in the lives of those who are ready for positive change through our LILY Coaching program. 💕
If you are interested in booking a free consult with Jeff or Cathy, email us at loveinlateryears@gmail.com

Lilies are our symbol for Love In Later Years. They have three true petals and three sepals, which are the same color, shape and size of the petals they are there to protect. We relate the three petals to Peace, Progress, and Pairing and the three sepals to Resilience, Intention, and Faith!

Resilience protects peace, and it is the first step in becoming whole as a mid-single. Healing from adversity, heartbreak, and disappointment rather than remaining stuck, is essential to obtaining and protecting inner peace.

Intention protects progress, by getting purposeful about efforts and actions. This moves mid-singles in the direction of their desires and deliberately cultivates what is in their highest good. Intention and progress also means investing in loving relationships so that in the latest years, we will have the assurance of eternal love and the blessing of warm memories. Consider the famous line from An Affair to Remember, “Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories. We’ve already missed the spring.”

Faith protects pairing, opening doors to the love of God -- which ultimately leads to love of self and love of others, our two greatest commandments and the source of our greatest joy! Having faith that our loving Father in Heaven knows our deepest desires can provide peaceful reassurance that a power greater than our own is at work in our lives. This is what our Savior said about lilies:

"Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin... if God so clothe the grass of the field...shall he not much more clothe you?... your Heavenly Father knoweth what ye have need of... seek ye first the kingdom of God... and all these things shall be added unto you."
St. Matthew 6:28-33

To us, the LILY represents the glorious blessings of a loving Father who knows what we need and has the power to provide it. May the LILY of resilience, intention, and faith bloom in every season of your life!

During the worldwide Covid-19 pandemic, “the world came together as people stayed apart.” Every time I see a photo or video footage of people in other countries wearing masks and social distancing, much like we do here in America, I am in awe of how we are all coming together globally in a common effort to kindly stay apart. 💕

We have been particularly aware of mid-singles and the unique challenges they face with these unexpected social changes. Please know that you are loved and prayed for. We have been using this time to create elevating resources (writing our book, "Intentional Courtship" and creating LILY Pod podcasts) and new opportunities (LILY Coaching services) especially for you.

We hope you are staying connected in all the ways that you can and continuing to grow and progress in your life's journey.

This weekend, we opted for a "self-care date" after a long productive week. We started with a walk to and from the gym and some weight training. Then we freshened up and went out for a nice leisurely meal at a Mexican restaurant. We ended our night with candlelight spa time at home. We highly recommend incorporating self care on a regular basis, whether with a partner or by yourself. 💕

This meal was a celebration of sorts. We finished our last requirement for Life Coach Certification and revisited the same restaurant where we came up with great ideas for our book: Intentional Courtship, which is now in production for publication. We are excited for all the wonderful plans we have for LILY! 🎉

Subscribe to
The LILY Letter

Love in Later Years © 2021
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram