October 31, 2021
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TRAGEDY

"Intentional Courtship" will be released in five days. One of the most important messages of this book is that there is life after divorce or the death of a loved one. Teaching the idea that joy can grow from tragedy is a central reason we founded LILY. Even more significant than your devastating loss is […]

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October 29, 2021
"WHY WON'T ANYONE GIVE ME A CHANCE?"

We discuss this sentiment at some length in "Intentional Courtship," which we will be releasing on November 5th. I have seen various comments of this kind on social media probably hundreds of times since I became a mid-single about 13 years ago. The comment usually comes from men. Before I answer the question, I want […]

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October 28, 2021
DEALING WITH THE COLLATERAL DAMAGE OF DIVORCE

As you may know by now, we are releasing our long-awaited book, "Intentional Courtship: a Mid-Singles Guide to Peace, Progress, and Pairing up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints," on November 5th. Intentional Courtship contains a lot of counsel and information about coping with loss and recovery from pain and trauma through […]

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October 27, 2021
ASKING FOR A DATE AND STARTING A CONVERSATION

There is a lot of discussion on this subject in "Intentional Courtship," which we will be releasing in a couple of weeks. Let me say, for the record, that the first two times I tried to message Cathy on Facebook, she didn't respond. The third time, she did and we had a good conversation. There […]

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October 26, 2021
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR MR. OR MRS. OPPOSITE?

As many of you know, Cathy and I both had brief second marriages following lengthy first marriages. In one case, the prior marriage was to someone who stonewalled (simply shut down and refused to talk about anything difficult or stressful). This is one of the Gottman's "Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse." After that kind […]

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October 25, 2021
DOES DIVORCE REMOVE YOU FROM THE STRAIT AND NARROW PATH?

In Lehi's dream we are taught of a "strait and narrow path" representing the way to salvation. (1 Nephi 8:20.) I always assumed that "strait" meant direct--like a straight line. This weekend I learned something new. At the adult session of our stake conference this weekend, our stake president, Brian Tate, spoke about the biblical […]

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October 23, 2021
LOSING CONTROL, GAINING CONFIDENCE

Two weeks ago, on Saturday 10/9/21, I (Cathy) was in a car crash. We were SO grateful to be attending church together the very next day (as indicated in the featured photograph)! There is an "illusion of control" in driving and in dating, especially if you've never been in an accident or experienced a serious […]

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October 21, 2021
WHAT DO COUPLES FIGHT ABOUT?

In this short video clip, Dr. John Gottman says he is asked this question all the time, and "the number one thing people fight about is nothing." He uses the example of the TV remote control, which ends up being a symbol of control in the relationship. The point is, of course, that most of […]

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October 20, 2021
WHAT'S THE POINT OF ANOTHER PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT BOOK?

Cathy Butler Teichert and I started the Love In Later Years Facebook Group soon after we started writing "Intentional Courtship: A Mid-Singles Guide to Peace, Progress, and Pairing up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints." We will be releasing this book in November in both print and Kindle formats. Some of you […]

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