March 15, 2022
LILY Letter 49: Lucky in Love

With the luck of the Irish on your side during St. Patrick's Day, you may find yourself lucky in love too. We did! On March 17th of 2016, Cathy posted an image of herself in several Facebook singles groups in a shirt which read: "Looking for my Lucky Charm." She remembers thinking, "this is silly […]

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March 8, 2022
LILY Letter 48: Sexuality for Singles

Sexuality can be a sensitive topic for singles. It can feel like a balancing act to wisely manage our God-given sexual natures, while abstaining from sex when unmarried. The subject of sex or sexuality often arises in our Latter-day Saint and larger Christian culture in reference to sexual sin, which can create fear. We may believe […]

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March 1, 2022
LILY Letter 47: What is Real Love?

Jesus said, ”Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life" (John 4:13-14). Real love is that pure Christlike love that […]

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February 22, 2022
LILY Letter 46: Powerful Women

What does it mean to be a powerful woman? Does it mean to have good fame and fortune? Does it mean to do everything for everyone with no thought of ourselves? Does it mean to do what it takes to look good in the eyes of others? Does it mean being attached to a powerful […]

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February 15, 2022
LILY Letter 45: Strong Men

The National Institute of Mental Health cited statistics showing the suicide rate among males was 3.7 times higher than among females. For centuries we have been socialized to believe that men are the stronger sex and exist to protect and provide for women. As Lea Winerman wrote: “Try to imagine the Marlboro man in therapy. […]

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February 8, 2022
LILY Letter 44: Romance or Independence?

Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us and, for many, it brings more pressure and fear than joy. Pressure to meet the expectations of another can take the joy out of almost any celebration. Singles who don’t yet have a special person to celebrate with can feel this void more acutely as this holiday approaches. Many […]

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February 1, 2022
LILY Letter 43: Love Month

I have sometimes wondered if Valentine's Day is worth it. For married people, it seems to be a time for crushed expectations and disappointment. Many complain that it adds pressure. For many singles, it is a poignant reminder of what they wish for and don't have. St. Valentine was a third century Roman Catholic. Since […]

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January 25, 2022
LILY Letter 42: Is Misery Easier Than Change?

The suicide rate for people divorcing is more than three times the national average. On the Holmes-Rahe stress index, divorce ranks second only to the death of a spouse as life's most stressful event. It even outranks being sentenced to a prison term or being given a terminal diagnosis. If you find yourself in this […]

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January 18, 2022
LILY Letter 41: What If You Get Turned Down?

Rejection is probably the biggest fear mid-singles have in dating. In many cases, we may think it means something about our worth or desirability. Thus, it's easy to take rejection personally and either lash out in response or turn inward and stuff unexpressed pain. Is this perspective really factual? For one thing, what other people […]

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