Intentional Courtship

A Mid-Singles Guide to Peace, Progress, and Pairing Up in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Welcome from Jeff & Cathy, Authors of Intentional Courtship
In this book, we share insightful stories from our many combined years as mid-singles in the Church of Jesus Christ. Despite our own unique challenges, we each enjoyed those years and wholeheartedly participated in elevating dating adventures within the Latter-day Saint community.

We know from experience how alienated mid-singles can feel within our Church culture. Mid-singles, and their need for supportive resources, have been relatively neglected. Our mission is to change that. We offer this book to mid-singles knowing you are mature adults with a wealth of experience. In order to best serve you and provide information that will enhance your own wisdom, we have often found you in our hearts and prayers. The result is a book written especially for you!

We first connected online, St. Patrick’s Day of 2016. Our own relationship, with all its twists and turns, eventually unfolded and we started our eternal adventure together on May 11, 2018 in the Provo City Center Temple. Now married, we enjoy dating each other, and find the skills we developed while dating as mid-singles still useful in our marriage.

In writing these 20 chapters, our “2020 vision” is to share our own wisdom, hoping to augment yours and illuminate your path moving forward. We hope this book will be a valuable guide for all believing mid-singles who long for love and companionship and desire more out of life, both in their journey as single individuals and in their quest to find deep and enduring, eternal love.

This book is written from our perspective as American members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. However, the principles taught can be adapted and applied for people from a variety of religions and cultures.


Q & A

Why did we write a book for mid-singles?

  • We wish we’d had a handbook when we were mid-singles and we have heard other mid-singles say the same.
  • Mid-singles tend to get discouraged while dating and need a little encouragement.
  • Many mid-singles are not comfortable dating and they are concerned about not knowing how to meet people as they are often busy with careers and kids. Some may even fear of rejection.
  • Many have not dated in decades and feel they don’t know “how it’s done” now. They may feel awkward about all of it.
  • Emotional baggage and trauma can get in the way and many mid-singles carry heavy loads.
  • Children, former spouses, and financial issues can make dating more complex.
  • Even though each mid-single has a unique set of circumstances, there are common challenges that mid-singles tend to face and there are general principles for resolving those challenges.

How did the book get created?

Jeff started this project in 2015, while he was a mid-single. He wanted a handbook and since no one had provided one for him, he wanted to do that for himself and others in his predicament. He picked it up again in 2020 after having been re-married for almost two years. His wife, Cathy got on board quickly because she would have wanted that same support as a mid-single. No doubt, this book is much more complete with both of our perspectives (something our pre-readers have enjoyed). Intentional Courtship is fully written and currently in production. We look forward to publication in the near future!

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