This fun photo strip was taken at a photo booth set up at a wedding reception for two mid-single friends a couple of weeks ago. We thought it was a great idea. Each guest got a momento of the event and the couple got a picture of everyone who attended their reception.
It always feels joyful to me when I hear about a mid-single couple being engaged or married. It suggests people having the resilience and courage to try again. It suggests hope in the idea that blessings can come to us later in life than we thought and still be joyful. Even before Cathy and I got married, seeing other mid-singles getting married always renewed my hope.
I know that, for some of you, seeing a wedding announcement from a mid-single couple triggers some pain -- particularly when the wedding involves someone you dated or had hoped to date. I feel for you. I know many of you have despairingly asked the question, "Why not me?"
I want to suggest that you ask the question rhetorically and hopefully, "Why not me?" as in "Why not?" Because one day it could be you. One day it will be.
You might have tried over and over and feel like it never works. My friends, it never works until it does. It really only works once right? Then you stop trying with new people. It only HAS to work once! So, if a loving marriage is the desire of your heart, don't give up.
I want to suggest a few important ideas on this subject that I hope might make your search happier:
I give this advice with a little caution. I am not suggesting it because I am assuming there is something wrong with you that needs fixing before you can get married. You are worth marrying right now, just the way you are.
Suggesting personal development will bring more joy into your life independent of getting married, as well as prepare you for marriage. I also believe it will make you a more attractive dating partner. Quality people are drawn to others who are thinking deeply about their purposes and seeking greater joy and fulfillment.
There are so many great resources today! You can listen to the free "gospel library" app reading the scriptures to you while you drive or take a bath. Our LILY Pod podcast is available on the major platforms. Give us a listen and see if it gives you hope and good ideas for your life. It's a resource created for mid-singles and it's FREE with new content being added every week!
You don't need to make your first date in 5 years a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon. Meet her for a Jamba Juice and see how it goes. And strive to date consistently -- not in flashes. You may need to "try on" a lot of people before you find one that fits you. If you make finding new people to date and regularly dating a part of your life, it won't be very long before you find someone you want to date exclusively and consider marrying. Remember, I am suggesting that dating consistently is a part of your life -- not that it take over your life.
3. Enjoy Your Life Otherwise
Two happy people rarely get together and have a lousy time. If you are a happy person, chances are good that you will be happily married. If you are unhappy and waiting for someone to come along and ease your burdens and otherwise make you happy, you are going to have a harder time getting married and a lower chance of being happily married. Do your best to figure out your life and be happy where you are.
There is a lot more I could say. (Actually, I did. Cathy and I have a 350 page book coming out this fall, so stay tuned!) But I think these few ideas can help. Remember, above all, that happiness is the object and design of our existence, and remain hopeful. Let every wedding of a mid-single couple renew that hope.
Remember our new mid-single friends we met at church a few months ago? We recently attended their wedding and it was such a joyous occasion!
He was widowed and she was divorced, both were single parents. Thankfully, her kids signed her up on a dating site (not something she would have done herself), which is how they met.
We absolutely love witnessing the blending of two previously separate lives! It's wonderful when a new and loving companionship blesses the lives of good people and their families.
After their ceremony, we did the photo booth and got to sit and eat with the bride & groom and make more new friends with their fun guests. We felt grateful to be there celebrating with them. Congratulations RJ and Debra!
SUNDAY LOVE STORY ~ DAVE & LORI
This couple dated in high school. They graduated, went their separate ways, and married other people. Fast forward 30 years. Both David and Lori were divorced and had been disappointed in love more than once. I knew both of them because we had competed on the same speech and debate team in high school. (I met both of them in junior high, but became close friends with them in high school.) Dave wasn't dating much and Lori was convinced she had a "bad picker" when it came to men.
Lori sent me a friend request on Facebook after I asked another friend what had happened to her. I was happy to hear from Lori because she was always one of the nicest people I knew. (She still is.) I asked Dave if he would consider dating her. He had been single for quite awhile by this time. He said, "She's a sweetheart, but she's married." I said, "Not for long. Her divorce is pending." I could sense his ears perking up on the other end of the phone. I gave him her number and the rest is history. They reunited and got married after three decades on other paths.
I share this post to give mid-singles hope. When you think you are out of options and feel like abandoning hope, sometimes a loving Heavenly parent takes a hand. Of course Dave had to summon the courage to dial that phone number and show up out of the blue after thirty years -- and Lori had to overcome her fears about having a "bad picker" when it came to men.
But what would you do to be with the person of your dreams?
Congratulations on six years of marriage Dave and Lori! Best wishes for the next six thousand!
We celebrated our anniversary this past weekend by treating ourselves to LIVE theater for the first time since Covid shut it down. Desert Star's first show opening back up was "Harry Poppins," a fun spoof on Harry Potter, Mary Poppins, and even Star Wars. Cathy knew their amazing pianist (Tracy) from back in her pageant days and we were lucky enough to get tickets. It turns out Jeff also knew one of the cast members and talented costume designer (Lee) from back in grade school. We were able to chat with each of them after the show; it was good to catch up with old friends!
There was a fun surprise for both of us at the end of the play when they called us out by name as a couple celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary. They had us stand up and dance in front of everyone while Tracy played a lovely rendition of "Let Me Call You Sweetheart."
At the end of our dance and unexpected moment in the spotlight, Jeff twirled Cathy around and while the audience clapped, we kissed with our masks on!
HaPpY StaR WaRs DaY!!! May the force of God's love and the spirit of personnel revelation bless your life today and throughout the year. And HaPpY CiNcO MaYo!!! We enjoy celebrating obscure holidays and this week, we celebrated two-in-one! For Star Wars Day, we watched Return of the Jedi and for Cinco de Mayo, we ate Jeff's mouth-watering carne asada tacos and Emily's amazing guacamole. Watching a Star Wars classic while eating homemade Mexican food is a great combination!
A smile creates high vibrational energy and high vibration leads to smiling easily and effortlessly. It has a synergistic effect. We can share that energy with others just by holding it within ourselves, by focusing on the good in our lives and in the world no matter our circumstances. Gratitude boosts joy and is a great catalyst for natural happy smiles!
As humans, we tend to be hard on ourselves. It's easy to see where we fall short and get overwhelmed by all the things we have left on our to-do lists. We have found that by intentionally recognizing and celebrating what we do well each day, we can celebrate our "wins." It's therapeutic to the soul and leads to more smiles, inside and out. Cheers to intentionally cultivating happy high-vibrational thoughts!
HaPpY SaiNt PaTriCkS DaY!!!
Here's a fun little story about luck in finding love. This photo was taken 5 years ago, when Cathy was a mid single, actively looking for her "lucky charm."
I vividly remember the moment when I took this selfie on March 17, 2016. Intending to share it on singles pages, I thought it would be a cute way to attract potential dating partners. At the time, I was feeling discouraged by all the effort I was putting into dating. I was meeting great guys, but that one special person I could really see myself with long term had not shown up yet. I remember thinking, "this will not likely attract my future spouse." I also remember thinking, "oh well, I'll just keep trying anyway until I do!"
That day, Jeff and I became Facebook friends. I made absolutely no connection to that fateful selfie. It wasn't until two years later, when we were engaged in 2018, that we were reminded by Facebook that St Patrick's 2016 was our "Friendiversary." It turns out my future forever spouse did come into my life that day! It just took us a while to figure it out.
Happy searching and best of Irish luck to all our single friends out there!
This weekend, we opted for a "self-care date" after a long productive week. We started with a walk to and from the gym and some weight training. Then we freshened up and went out for a nice leisurely meal at a Mexican restaurant. We ended our night with candlelight spa time at home. We highly recommend incorporating self care on a regular basis, whether with a partner or by yourself.
This meal was a celebration of sorts. We finished our last requirement for Life Coach Certification and revisited the same restaurant where we came up with great ideas for our book: Intentional Courtship, which is now in production for publication. We are excited for all the wonderful plans we have for LILY!