On June 13, 2021 at 4pm, we joyfully watched a historically significant Face to Face event produced by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — the first of its kind for this specific audience (ALL single adults, age 31+).

Single adults make up over 50 percent of the adult membership of the Church, noted Sister Bingham, “that is a significant audience!” Sister Eubank said that as a single adult herself, she is happy to have open conversations with other single adults, “Every member, no matter their circumstances, has so much to contribute, and we hope to better recognize this.” Elder Andersen added, “To those adults, whether you have never been married or are widowed, divorced, or a single parent, you are needed in God’s kingdom. We are grateful for all you do to progress the work of the Lord.”

Watch this event online for inspired words of counsel and comfort, specifically for singles of our Faith. We highly recommend watching this if you are single or if you love and support a mid-single in your life. Here's a link to watch the playback at any time: Single Adult Face to Face

To help prepare for this event, review President Russel M. Nelson’s April 2021 general conference address: Christ Is Risen; Faith in Him Will Move Mountains

We have a friend currently serving on the Single Adult group committee for the Church, who was involved in planning this special event. She asked for our feedback and we had so much to say that we decided to do a podcast on our thoughts about it. To hear our commentary, listen to episode 14.

LILY Pod Episode 14:

The First Church Wide Devotional for Mid-Singles

In light of Sister Bingham's comments on Face to Face, we would really like to increase our effort to make our Love In Later Years (LILY) Facebook Group a gathering place for mid-singles and those who are interested in their welfare – to fellowship, receive edifying thoughts, and alleviate loneliness. The more the merrier! We currently have 683 wonderful members and would like to grow that number to 1,000 by the end of July 2021!

Come join us and please share with friends and family: LILYFacebookGroup

Also follow us on Instagram (where we post different content): LILYInstagram

Forward this email to a friend. If they would also like a little more love and light in their inbox each week, they can subscribe to our free weekly LILY Letter at www.loveinlateryears.com

Microsoft founder Bill Gates and his wife of 27 years, Melinda Gates, recently announced their divorce. This has shocked the world because the Gates seemed like the epitome of a best-friends marriage, united by three children and their joint leadership of the world's largest charitable foundation.

We don’t claim to know anything about the Gates’ divorce. We are, however, increasingly aware of a crisis point many couples reach after about 25 years of marriage when the kids are raised, careers may be winding down, and couples may look at each other and say, "Who are you?" Life can become all about the kids, the bills, the business, and other things. Couples drift apart. This phenomenon is known as the “Gray Divorce.”

Money can help take some of the worry out of life. But if the richest couple in the world is divorcing, there has to be more to making marriage work than having enough money. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Prioritize the marital relationship above all other relationships. Intentionally turn toward your partner.

2. Stay friends. With all of the busyness of life, don't forget to keep playing. If you run a business together, as the Gates did (and we don't know their circumstances), that might give you more opportunities to interact. But none of us wants everything to be about the bottom line.

3. Take time for personal development. New discoveries and growth as a person better enable you to handle the difficulties that come along, and keep things interesting for your partner. Being intelligent and educated doesn't guarantee marital bliss. However, a lifetime of commitment to personal growth and human relationships can positively impact your companionship.

4. Be intentional about maintaining passion and sexual connection. We want to love and be loved passionately and freely. Once novelty and newness have worn off, this area of life requires more purposeful attention. Don't "outgrow" passion or you may outgrow your marriage.

We can never judge another person’s divorce accurately. It is better to offer love and compassion. Sometimes divorce is the most loving choice. We can assume good intent and refuse to judge or pick sides. To learn more about “divorce stories” and how to choose a perspective that best serves you and future relationships, listen to our recent podcast.

LILY Pod Episode 12: Divorce Stories

This afternoon, we were privileged to watch the FIRST EVER Face to Face Event for Single Adults (ages 31+). This event had a different approach than others before, considering it’s for a more mature and experienced audience. It will be a blessing for so many! We have a friend currently serving on the Single Adult group committee for the Church who was involved in the planning process. Please watch this online for inspired words of counsel/comfort, specifically for singles of our Faith. It’s an invite for ALL singles - never married, divorced, or widowed. We highly recommend watching this. Here's a link to watch the playback anytime:

Churchwide Devotional for Mid-Singles
The first presidency asked us to also study President Nelson’s talk: “Christ Is Risen; Faith in Him Will Move Mountains” from Apr 2021 General Conference, which you can find here:
Christ Is Risen; Faith in Him Will Move Mountains
After watching the premier of this special event this afternoon, we had so much to say about it that we did a podcast. Listen to our thoughts on this first ever churchwide mid-single devotional on LILY Pod:
LILY Pod -- The First Churchwide Devotional for Mid-Singles
14. The First Churchwide Devotional for Mid-Singles by LILY Pod • A podcast on Anchor
ANCHOR.FM
14. The First Churchwide Devotional for Mid-Singles by LILY Pod • A podcast on Anchor
Jeff and Cathy discuss the first churchwide devotional for single adults over the age of 30 in a Face to Face with Relief Society President Jean Bingham, Sister Sharon Eubank, and Elder Neil L. Anderson.

In light of Sister Bingham's comments on Face to Face, we would really like to increase our effort to make our Love In Later Years (LILY) Facebook Group a gathering place for mid-singles and those who are interested in their welfare to fellowship, receive edifying thoughts, and alleviate loneliness. The more the merrier! We would like to have 1,000 members by the end of July 2021! 💕 Come join us and please share with friends and family:

LILYFacebookGroup

Do you want to intentionally transform your life for the better? When it comes to the mind, everything beyond verifiable fact is perspective. The stories we tell have the power to influence our emotions, energy, behaviors, and ultimately our outcomes. We often choose our stories unconsciously and begin to believe our perspective as if it is fact and don’t even question it. Yet there is another option. We can choose our stories consciously to create intentional transformation. Our emotions, energy, behaviors, and outcomes can shift when we choose different stories. We are creators. It all begins with the thoughts we choose to focus on.

We have developed a LILY Coaching Model that we believe will be very helpful in our coaching practice. It provides a framework we as humans each need to do in order to create our best life. The acronym for our model is FSEEBO – so remember to “Forget SEEBO!” Forget the stories that don’t serve you, so you can forget the emotion/energy that doesn’t elevate you, and as a result you will forget each behavior/outcome that doesn’t benefit you! Doing this important thought work with firm intention, over time, will lead you to more purposefully create your life and find greater joy in your journey.

Here’s the breakdown:

Facts – verifiable (every thought beyond the facts is OPTIONAL)

Stories – our own perceptions and adaptations of the facts, the thoughts we choose to subscribe to and focus on

Emotions – the result of our stories, greatly influenced by our thoughts in the moment and in accumulation

Energy – the vibration we approach our day with and the world around us, also influenced by our thoughts/stories

Behaviors – naturally follow stories/emotions/energy, unless we use will-power to counteract it, which isn't sustainable

Outcomes – what our lives look like, as a result of our behaviors, which are influenced by our emotions/energy, and ultimately from our stories – the thoughts we attach to about the facts of our life experience.

Enjoy a more in depth discussion on LILY Pod Episode 11: Our F-SEEBO Model

Listen to "Our F-SEEBO Model" podcast on LILY Pod as many times as it takes to really get it down. Take notes and make a commitment to do this work in your own life. You can do a lot of this work yourself. Yet we all have blind spots so it is very helpful to meet with a coach and get personal assistance. We are happy to support you along the way! Let us know if you’d like a FREE coaching consultation by emailing us at loveinlateryears.com.

Jeff and Cathy each hold college degrees in the family science field. The principle of least interest is a prominent theory in this discipline. It simply means that the partner who is least invested in a relationship controls that relationship. This is so because the less interested partner is more willing to walk away rather than compromise or change.

We have seen many manifestations of this, such as a wife who is constantly clamoring for her husband's attention while he works long hours to avoid feeling smothered at home. It could be the husband who is pressing his wife for more couple time while she focuses on the kids and her friends, often to the exclusion of her husband.

In the realm of dating, one person may be very excited about another, while that other may still be dating a lot of other people. That dynamic creates a great deal of frustration for both of them. The one who is dating all of the other people controls the relationship because he or she is prepared to pursue other interests, while the other is willing to make the relationship a priority.

If you are the more interested dating partner, here are a few suggestions to help you deal with a relationship where you have no power:

  1. Date other people. If your partner does not commit to an exclusive relationship, neither should you. I have coached people who have protested, "But I don't want to date anybody else. I have found the person I want to be with." Don't invest more than your partner is willing to invest. This isn't a matter of playing games but of recognizing where your relationship really is. For commitments to be meaningful they need to be mutual. If you are constantly chasing someone who is chasing other people, you are likely wasting a lot of time and emotional energy, and smothering your partner in the process. Keep dating other people and give your partner a chance to catch up. Be open to meeting someone else.
  2. Develop other interests. Take a class. Restore an old car. Get together with friends and go to a movie. Do some scrapbooking – whatever you enjoy. Don't overload a relationship with constant demands that the other person "be there" to make you happy. Make yourself happy and accept what the other person is willing to give. Ultimately, if your partner does not get more invested, your relationship is not going to go anywhere and it shouldn't. Occasionally we have seen relationships where the more interested person gave an ultimatum and the less interested person gave into it under pressure. That leads to a marriage to a half-hearted partner. Does anyone want that?
  3. Don't get married where there is a huge emotional intimacy gap. If you are in a relationship where you find yourself always wanting more of your partner, this may not be the right relationship for you. You may have fundamentally different ideas about the appropriate amount of time together and the balance between relationship and outside interests. You might have great physical chemistry and the ability to connect in conversation. But if your partner is not invested in the relationship at roughly the same level as you, it is going to take a lot of adjustment for you to get comfortable in the relationship. You're probably going to do a lot of grieving. You have to decide whether that is something you are ready to do, or if there might be another person out there that is better suited to you.

Listen to our LILY Pod episode which outlines dating etiquette for mid-singles and for married couples. If in addition to these free materials you would like to consider one-on-one coaching for your own dating and relationships, email us at loveinlateryears.com to schedule a free consult.

Enjoy LILY Pod Episode 7: Dating Etiquette for Mid-Singles and Married Couples

When asked the greatest commandment, Jesus answered: “…Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:37-39). Loving God, ourselves, and our neighbors is at the root of all other commandments. When we cultivate that love, it is relatively easy and makes perfect sense to honor God’s other requests of us.

We encourage mid-singles to date and find a forever companion, but “love in later years” is so much more than that. It’s about developing the root of all other commandments, which is love. Life, with all its challenges and blessings, is more joyful as we carry the love of God in our hearts. God’s love provides us with a healthy sense of self and reminds us of our divine worth and individual wholeness. Our inherent worth is a constant – no earthly experience can ever change it. As we become love, as God is love, we have the power to develop love in our later years no matter our relationship status.

To dive deeper, enjoy our FREE LILY Pod series, which focus on developing love through honoring the two great commandments. We recommend listening to these in order (episodes 2-6). Links to each episode are provided below.

LILY Pod 5-Part Series:

God is Love, So are We

Relationship Priority Order

Cultivating Love for Thy God

Cultivating Love for Thy Self

Cultivating Love for Thy Neighbor

HaPpY 3rd AnNiVerSaRy JeFf & CaThY!!! 💕 For our anniversary this year, we are sharing a new labor of love with our growing Love In Later Years community. This new podcast "LILY Pod" has 8 episodes to start. We will continue adding fresh new content each week.

Here's a link to our website to find out what LILY Pod is all about and where you can find access to it on your favorite podcast platform (including Spotify, Apple, Google, and iHeartRadio). Enjoy!!!
https://loveinlateryears.com/lily-pod/

We were married and sealed in the Provo City Center Temple on May 11, 2018. For our anniversary this year, which happens to fall on a Tuesday when we send these LILY Letters out each week, we are pleased to share with you our new Love in Later Years production: "LILY Pod." We’ve been working on outlines and recordings over the past month and we are pleased with how the first 8 episodes turned out.

Our anniversary gift to our Love in Later Years community is the opportunity to listen and subscribe to our labor of love for FREE. We will continue adding fresh new content each week. Use any of the following links to enjoy (choose your preferred method of listening):

Spotify: LILYPodSpotify

ApplePodcasts: LILY PodApple

GooglePodcastsLILYPodGoogle

iHeartRadio: LILYPodiHeartRadio

RadioPublicLILYPodRadioPublic

PocketCastsLILYPodPocketCasts

Breaker: LILYPodBreaker

Anchor: LILYPodAnchor

Thanks for being valued members of our growing Love In Later Years (LILY) community. Feel free to spread the love and share with friends and family. To learn more, visit www.loveinlateryears.com.

Sincerely,

Jeff Teichert & Cathy Butler Teichert

Official LILY Pod Launch: May 11, 2021 – Our 3rd Wedding Anniversary

We recorded our first LILY Pod last night! After some trial and error, we finally got a great microphone that we really like. Our first episode is entitled "The Silent Majority." We have lots of other great ideas in the pipeline. This was a fun start to an exciting journey for us into the world of podcasting!
LILY Pod, coming soon! 💕

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